Death As Advisor

When it comes to understanding death’s place in your life and the ability to comprehend, accept and actively work with death’s energy in life is a whole other ball of wax which is easier said than done for most people, especially in the West where we either deny or trivialize this most important event. Death has a constant place and presence in our lives and in the universe around us. Stars and planets are born and die, all life in the universe must come to an end whether we choose to make this acknowledgement or not it’s going to happen and is happening all around us constantly. Our bodies are constantly dying in order to be reborn, our cells die and the body creates new cells in it’s place. We shed hair, skin, fingernails and excrete waste and toxins everyday yet most of us don’t give this a second thought unless it interferes in a significant and noticeable way to our health or integrity of mind and body. We are constantly surrounded by death in nature, we kill plant and animal matter directly or indirectly through the act of eating everyday which deprives someone or something else of that sustenance in order to continue our existence in the physical body yet how many of us really consider it a daily “death ritual”? Nature is predatory, nature is red in tooth and claw and human beings can be one of the most obvious examples of this fact as we fight for survival and gather resources which take from someone or something else in order to maintain ourselves or our comfort level. These are just a few obvious examples of this fact and yet many folks would rather put on rose colored glasses in willful ignorance or attach some human created moral or ethic about death being evil, dark, black, negative, etc. While death could be considered a negative or evil or a side of life that makes one uncomfortable or uneasy I am inclined to say to you, “that’s the point!” Death in any form: death of a job, relationship, way of thinking, death of a loved one, etc isn’t easy to accept, cope with or understand considering that we are biologically meant to focus our thoughts and energies towards our continued survival and defend against immediate threats. Sure, some things are easier to embrace regarding death’s place in our lives but some things aren’t soo easy and can be downright painful but this also seems to be largely informed and influenced by the society and culture we are raised within as well as any spiritual tradition( if any) we are involved in either by choice or being raised to embrace a tradition or practice before being able to make our own decisions as adults.

There appears to exist four cultural universals on this planet which every human in every time and in every culture know as fact: Birth, Death, Sex, and Blood. Death comes in many forms and aspects, we as a human collective seem to better understand this concept and fact of death by giving this force/energy in the universe a face, a name, a particular appearance (depending on the socio/cultural climate and time). I’m of the opinion similar to certain sects of buddhist monks who regularly and daily meditate on their own death and dissolution that it’s important to come to terms with this fact of life because none of us know how much time we have or how we will die and it’s advised to meditate upon this regularly and often. I wholeheartedly encourage this practice and while I don’t always do this daily I do however make time upon waking, going through my day and before bed to remember to ask myself throughout my day, “If today were your last day would you be ready to go?” This practice in itself as well as a few documentaries/books and links to the practice of death meditation will be provided at the end of this blog post may help provide some guidance on this practice and how to go about such a thing and incorporate it into your daily life. I find researching the varieites of how this is done across different cultures and how they treat their dead and the concept of death and dying is never time wasted and can be embraced as a template wholly or used as inspiration to create your own unique form of this practice. The whole point of this entry today is a form of recognition and honoring the spirit/power/energy/force of death and it’s place in all our lives. It should be respected, honored, acknowledged and used as a life advisor everyday. I encourage you to become friends with death, allow death to be your guide and mentor. Become comfortable with invoking and meditating on your death in detail on a regular basis and watch how your life will change as a result. Death will unlikely do it’s work in your life quietly so be prepared to take this work seriously and realize that it has profound consequences and effects that you may not forsee or be prepared for. In my case I vividly recall in the winter of 2019 every morning as soon as I woke up I would do about a half an hour of invocations to death and take in this energy as a form of communion and ask for a transference of knowledge and wisdom to come into me to help me understand certain aspects of death and dying that I couldn’t understand, in particular I asked to experience the grief commonly felt by many for their loved ones who had passed. Let’s just say that I got what I asked for and for over a month I was hit full force with depression, anger and grief for about a month or more and this feeling would not dissipate or integrate with my energy for quite some time and I had to take a break on my invocations of death energy while I processed the energy and experienced what I asked for. It wasn’t fun or easy to deal with but I now understand more fully the emotional pain many experience when death touches their lives or the life of a loved one and especially how these difficult emotions manifest from a place of death denial, fear and a belief that informs a person of what they expect or believe to expect when they die. This doesn’t necessarily make this true with a capital T but I’m of the opinion that our beliefs shape our reality in many ways and what we expect or believe will happen actually can occur even if that belief or expectation isn’t shared socially or culturally. Imagine that if you believed that once you died that you just simply went out like a lightbulb and that was it? Or imagine if you believed in a place of reward or punishment were doled out to you and based on the judgement of a “higher” power? Or imagine that you believed you became a “ghost” stuck neither here nor there in a sort of limbo forever until you finished whatever business you felt needed taking care of if you died suddenly or unexpectedly? I personally feel that living experientially and having a baseline of NO BELIEFS is an optimum way to live for I feel beliefs are a useful tool but to allow for your personal experience to validate “truth” for yourself, making up your own mind and not being afraid to say “I don’t know” seems more beneficial than some insecure ego based choice to want to be right rather than not know at all. I feel that any religion, path or dogma can wedge it’s way into us from an outside source and we can easily confuse it as our own instead of diligently and regularly examining and unpacking what we really believe or think regardless of social or culture teachings and expectations and making sure to learn how to make up our own minds while acknowledging that we aren’t going to have all the answers to literally anything and may likely be completely clueless to the truth of what’s really going on in the universe, how our minds/bodies work let alone the planet we live on. Sure, we are more informed and knowledgable about many things than our ancestors were but I highly doubt we’ll ever come to an agreement on what’s really going on as there seem to be more theories available to make sense of things than actual facts. We all should know facts become bullshit based on new evidence until that evidence is replaced with new evidence, etc. Such is life.

So as you go about your life each day remember to ask yourself often, “If today were my last day would I be ready to go?”

Walking The Twilight Path by Michelle Belanger: https://www.amazon.com/Walking-Twilight-Path-Gothic-Book/dp/0738713236

The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker: https://www.amazon.com/Denial-Death-Ernest-Becker/dp/0684832402/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+denial+of+death&qid=1600005553&s=books&sr=1-1

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach: https://www.amazon.com/Stiff-Curious-Lives-Human-Cadavers/dp/0393324826/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=stiff&qid=1600005659&s=books&sr=1-1

Time of Death Amazon Prime Documentary: https://www.amazon.com/Time-of-Death-Season-1/dp/B017UGXHEC

Death: A Series About Life: https://www.amazon.com/Physical-Death/dp/B01EUCOUTA/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=death+documentary&qid=1600005856&s=instant-video&sr=1-1

Hereafter Movie w/Matt Damon: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1212419/

Kissed IMDB Movie: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116783/

Science of Death Amazon Prime Documentary: https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B07CPMQ58R/ref=atv_dp_b01_det_c_UTPsmN_1_6

Death Meditation Website Link: http://strivingforfreedom.com/death-meditation/

Death Note IMDB Anime Series Link: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0877057/

Ask A Mortician aka/Caitlin Doughty Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/AskAMortician/videos